Life With The Stanfords

My life and welcome to it!

Welcome to Life With The Stanfords, where life is sweet, my family's sweeter and God is the sweetest! I am so glad you're here. The Bible says, "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks (or writes?)." Life With The Stanfords is my overflow. Some days my heart is good, other days - not so much. I hope you'll appreciate the honesty, though. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and let's share some virtual baked goods and real conversation. 

Charlotte's got a lot!

It''s hard to explain why you and your husband are driving to Charlotte to "get away". I mean, Charlotte's nice and all, but why would we drive 13 hours to go there? It really was lame, but we weren't free to say that we were considering leaving because Jade might lose his job (there's some foreshadowing for you there).

So we took a semi-top secret trip to Charlotte in July 2012. Hannah, our used-to-be, once-in-a-lifetime babysitter was on break from school and kept the kids for us. She also traded vehicles with us. Score! We saved a bundle on gas. 

We decided to leave about 10:00 p.m. on a Friday night so we would arrive in Charlotte around lunch time Saturday. We had so much fun. We were off on an adventure, and it had been a long time since we had had an adventure. 

For all of you who are coming to visit us, this is about the easiest 13-hour drive there is. From Louisiana, it's interstate the whole way. You can stop in Mobile, Atlanta, and Gaffney, SC, along the way. There's a Pottery Barn outlet in Gaffney, I hear.

I'll try to just hit the highlights from Charlotte. These are the things we really liked:

• Charlotte has a beautiful downtown area. Nice skyline.
• Retail establishments are, for the most part, hidden from the view of the interstate. This may seem minor, but really, it's nice to not see the backside of every retail establishment as you're driving down the road. Imagine a place with responsible zoning. I wonder if you can.
• Nicely developed suburban areas. Even in largely populated areas, it still feels like you're in the country a little. They didn't mow down every tree in sight to throw up a neighborhood or strip mall. Imagine!
• Charlotte Motor Speedway. Really big and really cool-looking. Might see a race there one day.
• Kannapolis Research Park. Gorgeous research center where NC universities and corporations do research.
• Surrounding towns. Davidson, Kannapolis, and Concord all had charming downtown developments. Their parks system seems to be fabulous. Lots of connected nature trails, fishing areas, etc.
• Lake Norman was beautiful.
• Shopping. Concord Mills, Birkdale Village, IKEA, Trader Joe's, etc. etc. etc.
• National Whitewater Center. Wow!
• Everyone was nice to us. Everyone.

OK. We liked it. A lot. 

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What's so great about Charlotte?

We hung up with David and stared at each other. Move??? To Charlotte, NC??? Boy, we didn't see that one coming. Jade has never had a job where moving is involved. We expected to live our whole lives here in Louisiana.

We began to pray about a move to Charlotte, NC. We gathered our counselors around us and began asking their thoughts on the matter. We talked with our wonderful pastor, our parents, and a couple of other wise friends. As sad as the thought was for all of us, we got a clear go-ahead from everyone. (OK, the exception to that is Jade's mom. She really wanted us to move to Lafayette, LA, close to her, and asked us to compare both towns before we made a decision. She also said she would support us in our decision, which she has. I hope I can be as nice as her if and when one of my kids gets the cock-a-mamy idea to move away from me one day.) Jade and I also felt "clearance" from the Lord to move in that direction, which is hard to explain unless you've experienced it.

We needed to do one more thing. We needed to see it. We had never even been to Charlotte, NC. Before we gave the final go-ahead, we wanted to see this place we were about to uproot our family and break hearts for. So we planned a road trip. Just the two of us. Wahoo!

And now for the now what!

In June of this year, we got a call from David, our contact at CBAC. We had been working toward opening a store in Baton Rouge for almost a year.

David: "Guys, we're ending the search for a location in Baton Rouge. There's just not a place."

I felt like the air was sucked out of my lungs. All that work and prayer for nothing! I wasn't ready to throw in the towel. The Lord had already opened doors for us to work with CBAC. I knew it. 

Me: "Well, maybe we need to move." Jade looked at me like I had two heads. 

David: "What did you say?"

Me: "I said maybe we need to move." 

Jade: "What markets are you guys looking at developing?

David:  "Denver, CO and Charlotte, NC."

OK, so here's the thing. I've always loved North Carolina. Ever since I drove through there on a mission trip in college, I've thought about it off and on. When Jade and I got married, we talked about North Carolina every now and then and how it might be nice to live there. We took a vacation to NC a few years ago and just loved it up there in the mountains. And even though my sister just moved about two hours away from Denver, I'm not a Rocky Mountain, blizzard kind of girl.

Jade:  "Well, we need to pray about that. Can we get back to you?"

David:  "Sure! Talk to you soon." Click.

Let the praying begin.

 

Nowhere to land...

Sorry for the delay. Thanksgiving, holidays, etc.

Jade and I were so excited about building a store in Baton Rouge. We couldn't wait to find out where CBAC would put us. We were hoping it would be closer to where we lived. We thought opening next to the new Woman's Hospital would be great because we knew that area would likely mushroom with growth.

This whole process was agonizing. Every day I would ask Jade if he'd heard anything. He never really did.

After months (many months) of trying to work something out with a landowner on Siegen Lane, that possibility ended. The only possible sites left were right down the street from Jade's current employer. Remember I said we wouldn't agree to that? Yeah. Now what???

Sign us up!

Jade and I were thrilled that my parents were able to give us the investment for the CBAC (Christian Brothers Auto) franchise. We took that as a sure sign from God that we were on the right track.

We called CBAC the next day and got instructions for sending the check. It's very difficult to fit all those numbers on a personal check and really nerve wracking to send it! Our checking account was pretty hysterical that month.

On July 18, 2011, we officially began our journey with CBAC.

My memory is fuzzy, because I should've squeezed in a post about our Discovery Day at CBAC. We visited their headquarters before we sent in our investment. So I'll backtrack a little and just say that we had a great visit. We discussed not only business matters, but spiritual matters as well. We looked at the demographics for Baton Rouge and talked about how CBAC selected sites for their stores. Our visit was fascinating, refreshing, exciting, and terrifying all at once. Right up our alley.

So, back to July 18, 2011. The next step was to find a site for our store in Baton Rouge. Jade's only stipulation was that he would not build close to his current store. He respected his boss and didn't want there to be any bad feelings between them when he left to open his own store. He was adamant that he wouldn't sabotage the business he had spent seven years building.

No problem, right? The Baton Rouge area is big. There are plenty of cars in need of fixing. Hmmm.

If you've got the money, honey...

Alright, so we definitely felt the Lord moving us toward a Christian Brothers Automotive franchise. The only thing standing in our way was that we had NO money to invest.We talked about trying to save the money for the franchise investment, but we would be old and gray by the time we saved what we needed. Also, Jade would probably be institutionalized by that time.

Well, when I considered all the ways we could get the money we needed (theft, fraud, selling our kids on the black market), I thought our best option was to ask my parents. Jade was not excited about that option and neither was I, really. (I mean, how old do I have to be to stop asking my parents for money?) However, my dad had been saying for years that Jade should open his own business. So I got permission from Jade to make the call.

 

Dad and Gay Nan ('09)

I called my dad and told him about the franchise opportunity and how it was a perfect fit for Jade and me. He said that sounded great! Then I swallowed real hard and said, "Dad, the only problem we have is that we don't have the investment needed." Dad said, "Well, how much do you need?" BIG GULP. 

 

I suppose it's all relative, but let me just say that the amount to Jade and me was humongous. It's an amount that would take us decades to save while raising six kids. It was an impossible number.

ME:  "Dad, we need X amount of dollars." 

 DAD:  "Hmm, I think we can do that." 

Ya'll, my dad wears hearing aids and he "filters" a lot, too. So I was sure he had not heard me correctly.

ME:  "Did you hear what I said? Are you sure?"

DAD:  "Well, let me ask Gay Nan, but I don't think that will be a problem. Let me talk to her and I'll call you back."

ME:  "Thanks, Dad." Click.

He called me back shortly thereafter. WE HAD OUR INVESTMENT.

To be continued...

Big Changes Ahead...

OK, so you know we're moving to North Carolina, right? But you don't know all the juicy details I've kept secret for almost a year and a half! Well, here goes. It's 12:30 a.m. where I am, so I'm not sure how far I'll get tonight. Let's begin...

The last posts on this blog were written not too long after Phinehas was born. Life got really tough around that time. Nothing in particular happened. Jade just continued to work long hours six days a week. We had six kids and I was beginning to feel like a single mom.

It was shortly after Jade opened the new Treads and Care (see this post), now Skid Marks, that he expressed how burned out he was becoming. He had been pushed to the limit for so long, with little reward, that he had just about had it. Our marriage was suffering. He hardly had any time with the children.In fact, the last family vacation we had (the only one this past year), was spent without him. We began the search for something new.

Several years earlier, I was reading one of Jade's auto repair industry magazines. I know. Weird. Anyway, I saw an article on a business named Christian Brothers Auto Repair. It was a franchise based out of Houston, Texas. As I read about the business, I thought to myself, "If Jade started a business, this is exactly what it would look like." They are a Christian company and operate with those values.

Now go back to early 2011, when we began our search. The Lord brought that Christian Brothers article to my mind. I still can't believe I remembered the name of that company from so long ago. I googled them and found them! I clicked on their Franchise tab and was immediately intrigued. I showed the information to Jade and we decided to go forward with our research of that company.

We spoke with their representative and then began praying about what the Lord would have us to do. We felt that He was leading this direction. We just had one tiny problem -- no money. 

To be continued...

Oh, to be good at something!

"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through." — Ira Glass

My sister-in-law, Gracie, is in college trying to figure out what in the world to do with her life. How I remember those days. How I screwed up those days.

All my life I have loved beautiful things -- in an abnormal way. It took me years to realize that not everyone's heart flutters over the perfectly orange fabric that goes perfectly with the perfectly blue fabric. Not everyone is willing to sit in an entirely unsuitable house because it's just not worth it to move into a slightly less unsuitable house. "If we move, it will be to the incredibly almost perfectly suitable house." 

Anyway, I ignored the things I loved and loved to do in college. I pursued the logical, the financially prudent, and the socially acceptable. 

When I drew a picture and it wasn't great, I assumed it meant that I shouldn't draw. When I sewed clothing and it didn't look quite right, I assumed it meant I shouldn't design clothes. When I decorated and it looked kind of cheesy, I assumed it meant that I didn't have good taste. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

I wasn't willing to work toward mastery, toward perfection. I couldn't deal with being bad at the things I loved. I mean, if you're bad at the things you love, where does that leave you? To be bad at everything? To be good at the things you hate? I couldn't bear it. So I shoved the things I loved into the small, protected corners of my life and pretended they didn't matter. Oh, the deep regret!

At 42, I realize that I have a knack for talking to large groups, party planning, and making pretty things. I just need practice. Lots of practice. I've got to be willing to be bad at something -- to (GASP!) fail.

What I'm saying is, don't try to be an accountant if your soul wants to paint pictures. Vice versa, if you live to count stuff, don't quit trying to be an accountant -- even if you don't always get the math right.

Does that make sense, Gracie? Do what you love, even if you're not very good at it right now. You will be. 

May...

It's May. Home of...

1. Mother, may I? Yes, you may.
2. May I have the envelope please?
3. May Day
4. Cinco de May-o, and my favorite...
5. "Mommy, may you please get me some water please?"

Homeschool co-ops are finished until Fall. We're still doing school, but we've taken on a more relaxed attitude. We've finished most of our regular commitments. All we do is soccer these days. The kids are venturing outoors more and more. Claire took Ethan and Evelyn for a walk the other evening. They went down to the canal at the end of our street and took pictures. Here's Ev. She told me the other day she wanted a wah-la-melon flushie at Sonic.

 

Hmmm, what could he be thinking? 1) New and improved ways of driving my siblings mad; 2) New and improved ways to get out of schoolwork; 3) How to get Mama to let me have a cat.

 

They love each other. I don't care what they say. If I survive these two, the rest will be a breeze.

 

Evie loves Claire, no matter how much Claire fusses at her.

 

Not many may know the depth of sisterly love.

 

This month's playlist has some of my favorite "funky" songs on it. These songs are great for jogging, cleaning the house, and driving around town with the windows down in the minivan. They make me feel like cuttin' loose in general. You should gather your whole family together to dance to at least one of these songs in the kitchen. Magically, it will become one of their favorite memories. Promise. Have a great month!

A little Easter

As always, our Easter weekend was busy, but full off fun. Saturday, we went to Jade's mom's house in Opelousas. Jade's dad fried turkeys, Jade picked up boudin balls (YUM!) in Krotz Springs and Claire made her first cheesecake -- Chocolate Eruption Cheesecake from this cookbook, which is fabulous.

This year, instead of making all the children's Easter outfits, I made mine instead. That was WAY easier! For the first time, I am pleased with the results of something I've made for myself. This is the pattern I used. The only problem I had was that it needed a good deal of "taking up" up top. Be aware if you decide to make it. The fabric is an Amy Butler print. Love her stuff. Some of the girls from church and I wore our hats. That was fun. We're all set for the royal wedding. Pinkies up!

 
For Easter lunch, we ate at my sister's house. She always sets such a beautiful table. Here's a pic of the outdoor table.

 
Here's a closeup of the plates. To die for! She got these from Hobby Lobby. They always have really neat Christian-themed tableware and decorations. I hated to eat off these plates. They were so pretty.

 
This year, Candice chose this menu for our Easter lunch. It was delicious. All the flavors were so good together. Here's a pic of the Shrimp Shooters she made. Very pretty.

 
Dessert was incredible. Here's the Hummingbird Cake (from Southern Living, of course).

 
Look at the Chocolate Cheesecake! Is that cute or what? This cheesecake is amazing. It has a crunchier crust, chocolate cheesecake and a light chocolate mousse layer on top. YUM!

 

Well, that was great. I'm exhausted! I totally bailed on my "clean eating" last weekend. Plus, I've got cheesecake hanging out in my fridge. I've cheated this week. I'm not made of stone ya' know. I've gotta get back on it...or it's gonna get back on me. (That's a little weight loss humor for you. I crack myself up. Really.)