Life With The Stanfords

A "dream come true" kind of day...

Well, I'm expecting company (on my blog). And it occurred to me that not having posted in awhile is like not having coffee and cake made. I still don't have pictures. I'm still trying to get the dead camera from my purse over to the computer for charging. It's such a long way!

Today has been a lovely day. I had the opportunity to speak at a MOPS meeting this morning and had such a good time! Those ladies have it going on. The tables were decorated "cutie, cute, cute". (I think this is thanks to their Craft Diva, January Hart.) Everyone brought amazing food. For those of you who know how much I love food, you know I was dying because I couldn't eat until I finished speaking. Torture!

Well, I spoke about financial planning for women. I went over on my time and didn't finish, which I just hate. They were very gracious about it. (Thank you.)

I was doing the "post-game analysis" on my way home, and it hit me again that I had just finished speaking about financial planning for women. Ha! Further proof that, with God, nothing is impossible.

Just two short years ago, this would have been a ridiculous notion. I really didn't want to obey God with my finances. I wanted Him to give me some money and leave me alone. I'm so thankful that our Father loves us perfectly and NEVER spoils us.

I will admit to you right this second that it's been a dream of mine to be able to speak to groups of people. I love it, but I guess I felt guilty for wanting it. I always figured I needed to do something "hard". You know, like marrying a really ugly guy and being a missionary to Siberia.

Here's the thing -- I think God might actually let me do what I love. And maybe God is saying, "Well, of course! Who do you think made you love public speaking? Who do you think gave you that big ol' mouth of yours? I just had to work on you so you had something worthwhile to say that glorified Me and not you!" I don't know what He has in mind. Who knows? Maybe I won't ever "do" public speaking again. That's my God -- full of surprises.

At any rate, today was "a dream come true". Thank you, MOPS (and God).

Bear with me...

I'm a week late posting my playlist this month. I've been in the depths.

My Facebook friends know I just finished battling a kidney stone. I won the battle, but probably not the war. According to the ultrasound of my kidneys, there's more where that came from. On a lighter note, the same ultrasound also revealed that our baby boy has a head full of hair and is happily laying his pretty head on my bladder. He is seemingly oblivious to the torture his dear mother is enduring on his behalf. I'm glad.

The last month or so has been tough. I sure hate downer posts, but sometimes I think Christians don't talk about suffering enough. Too often, "the Church" tends to paint a falsely rosy picture of life with Christ. We like to forget that Jesus said, "...in this world, you will have trouble."

I've only been "at the end of myself" a few times in my life. This past week has been the latest. I was already exhausted and worried about a long list of things. Then I had a kidney stone attack. I mainly remember sobbing uncontrollably and crying out for God to help me. No scriptures came to my mind; just the knowledge that only God could fix this and that I was at His mercy. I think that's where Romans 8:26-27 comes in. Never before have I so intimately understood David's cry for help in Psalm 6:

¹O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
   or discipline me in your wrath.

 ² Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
   O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

 ³ My soul is in anguish.
   How long, O LORD, how long?

 ⁴ Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
   save me because of your unfailing love.

 ⁵ No one remembers you when he is dead.
   Who praises you from the grave ?

 ⁶ I am worn out from groaning;
   all night long I flood my bed with weeping
   and drench my couch with tears.

I am waiting -- the hardest thing to do. I am waiting for my bones and muscles not to ache, to not have to use the bathroom every 30 minutes, to not be hot, to enjoy food again, to feel -- hmmm -- secure again. Oh, that I could remember that suffering is a blessing. When this "episode" is over, I will be more like Christ and more immune to the world. My spirit will be gentler and quieter and I will trust more. 

My playlist this month reflects all of the aforementioned agony, but they're actually lovely songs -- not too morose. Thought I'd share the lyrics to Desert Song. Love this song:

The Desert Song Lyrics

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Greater love hath no mama...

It's the eve of Mothers Day, and as always, my thoughts turn again to my own mother. I lost her to breast cancer in January 1988.

There are lots of things that can't be contained in words or books or whole libraries. How I feel about my Mama is one of those things. However, she is still teaching me even today. And I can share some of her lessons.

There is a verse in the bible that says, "Greater love hath no man than a man lay down his life for his friend." --John 15:13

It occurs to me that this is really the command of motherhood. It grieves me to see women today trying to "make motherhood fit" into their busy schedule of activities. The truth is that if you decide to become a mother, you must be ready to lay down your life.

We have noble thoughts of running in front of a car to save our children or giving them a kidney. Ah, if only it were that easy! Motherhood is like Groundhog Day in that you have to keep dying every day, over and over again.

You feel the icy hands of death gripping you when you've been thrown up on at 2:00 a.m. and when you've just finished washing the last load of clothes and someone comes and puts their dirty socks in the laundry basket. 

Death stares you in the face when you realize you are no longer hip to the latest music, movies and fashion. You haven't had a decent tan in 10 years. Your underwear is full of holes and safety pins so your kids can have something nice to wear. You decide to forgo the 10-year anniversary cruise to have another baby -- the sixth one. And every mother knows, this list is endless.

My mother did all of the above (in some form or fashion) without a complaint. I suppose she did the usual fussing about us not cleaning up after ourselves, but I can't remember it. I used to mock her in my mind for giving up everything to stay home and have children. Her life was so ordinary. I vowed never to let that happen to me. (At this point, all of Heaven chuckles.)

One of the lessons of my mother's life is this..."I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." --John 12:24-25. 

My mother was the first "Jesus" I ever knew. She "died" every day of my life -- joyfully. Over 20 years after her death, she is still bearing fruit in my life AND in my childrens' lives.

My question to myself is, "What do my children know of Jesus?" Do they know...

• that He treasures souls and not money?
• that He loves children?
• that He is a servant - especially to the unlovable?
• that He's never "too busy"?
• that He forgives?
• that He gives life, peace, joy?

In my motherhood, am I "glorifying God and enjoying HIm forever"? I want to say yes so badly, but I cannot do it without God's grace.

I'm so thankful that God didn't listen to the selfish 17-year old who said she would never have kids. In His lovingkindness, He has chosen to let me experience "death" through motherhood. And right in line with how He works things...I have never felt so ALIVE!

Happy Mothers Day!

Sunday's comin'...

Happy Easter, ya'll! Jade and I sat down with the kids Tuesday night and talked about Passover. I was amazed at how much they remember from other times we've talked about it. Guys, if you don't know much about Passover, please put learning about it on your list of things to do. God's design and plan for salvation will blow you away. Our God is beyond words.

Two of the greatest sermons I've ever heard come from the late, great pastor, S.M. Lockridge. I first heard these two years ago. If I hadn't been a Christian already, I would've become one on the spot after hearing these. Several of my friends have posted these videos on Facebook. Just in case you don't have Facebook, I wanted to share them with you. Christians, enjoy listening to the awesome wonder of our King of Kings.

Do you love Him??? I LOVE Him!!!

 

What's better than thank you?

"A friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity." --Proverbs 17:17

I wish there were stronger words than "thank you" in our language. I suppose "thank you" is kind of like "love" for us. We "love" milkshakes and we "love" our husbands (not the same thing at all). We say "thank you" for passing the salt and we say "thank you" for lifting up powerful prayers for recovery and peace (again - not the same thing at all).

I'm such a words girl, and when words are not enough, I'm frustrated. Here's one of those times. You are dear and precious to me. I love to think that I'm a mature Christian, but when adversity hits, I'm a baby. You guys just lifted me up so high yesterday.

I got to talk to my dad last night. So many of you know what a gift that is. He is off of the respirator, and at last check, was giving the nurses heck. Yeah! He has had a terrible cough for years, and that was the source of some problems day before yesterday. However, last night the hospital said there were no incidences of sleep apnea or coughing/breathing problems. A miracle!

As for my grandmother, she has been given a very limited time here on earth - just a few months. When I visited with her, though, she seemd to have a lovely peace and calm about her. This is also a miracle, because my grandmother has never been one for peace and calm - and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

If you think of it today, please pray for my dad to heal nicely. And even more, pray that the Lord will light a fire in him to take great care of himself from now on - that might be the even bigger miracle. And ask that the Lord just hold my grandma in His hands and cover her with His wings - that's the best place for any of us.

Last of all, there's a verse in Romans that says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." I believe so strongly that Heaven has words we don't even know about. The Spirit uses those words to speak on our behalf.

I think maybe when a Christian wants to say "thank you" and words are not enough, that the Holy Spirit takes those words and turns them into a thousand praises, blessings and amens, and puts them in all the right places. So, let me just say, "thank you" for everything and Heaven will do the rest. : > 

Return to Thankful

I have had a bad case of discontent in the last few months. Discontent is an awful thing. It's why all those people on Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, etc. act the way they do. It ain't pretty.

All the while, I've been asking God (with the little bit of Holy Spirit left in me) to help me overcome this monster. I can't say I'm completely healed of discontent, but I'm on the mend. Christians often talk of trying to overcome besetting sins -- those sins that persistently trouble or harass us. For some it's drugs, for others it's food, and then there are the less obvious ones that trouble - like pride, fear, mistrust, and yes, discontent.

Do you know that the God of the universe reaches out to us? We do not see Him, and yet, He is in us if we belong to Him. He reaches across that line between the natural and the spiritual and reassures us that He is with us always -- even when we are battling the ugliest parts of ourselves. When we're losing the battle, He steps in.

In this latest battle with discontent, here are the ways God has reminded me of His love...

I woke up the other morning to hear my one-year old daughter singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" in her bed. God gave her to me.

I asked my four-year old son the other day what I would do when he grew up and moved away. He said, "Well, I'm going to marry you!" What love.

I watched Diary of a Mad, Black Woman again last night. Yes, I have issues with the movie, but there's a scene where the choir at the church begins singing about how we need the Lord. I cry every single time. It just reminded me of how very much He loves us.

I went to a doctor's appointment with my Dad last week and then we went to lunch together. I had him all to myself for a couple of hours. We talked about spiritual things and we talked about Mama. It was a divine appointment and one of the best days of my life. I love my Dad.

My husband told me I was beautiful.

My pastor preached about salvation and being filled with the Holy Spirit. It's been so long since I've heard the gospel preached. He reminded my why we sing about the Cross. My heart filled up to overflowing.

All five of my kids were being great at one time around the supper table the other night. It was loud and boisterous and happy. My husband and I just looked at one another and smiled without saying a word. All the love in the world was present in that moment.

And in all those times, I heard the words of the Lord:

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love." Psalm 145:8

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" I John 3:1a

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you." Isaiah 30:18-19

And now I think of the song I consider to be the soundtrack of my life:

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I've come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day. 

Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you, yet I'm prone to leave the God I love. Bind my wandering heart to You with your goodness. You are great and greatly to be praised. Father, forgive me. Thank you for returning me to thankful.

On God's provision...

You've all read my "Dave Ramsey" testimonies. Well, here's another one.

Jade and I are still working hard on being good stewards with our finances. It's still work at this point because I'm not accustomed to being accountable or to keeping up with my money. With every step toward more discipline, though, I feel more peace invading my life.

It's still difficult for me to avoid impulse shopping. It's my worst habit of all. Sometimes I get an overwhelming desire to have something. I just want it, you know? Anyway, I've been wanting this little flag for a long time. They're very popular down here. It's a simple beige yard flag with a black monogram on it. Very pretty.

I've never had a flag in my yard, but I've always wanted one. When I was talking about it with my friend, Sherri, she said, "Hey! I've got an extra flag stake you can have. You want it?" Of course I did!

Well then I immediately wanted to go buy the monogram flag. They're $15.00, and I just didn't have an extra $15.00 to spend on a yard flag. I almost caved in at the Hallmark shop that sells them. I picked up the "S" flag. I held it. I smelled it. I rubbed it on my face (not really, but you get the picture), but I didn't cave in. I just resolved to save up a little of my grocery money for a few weeks and then go buy the flag. Write this one down in the books. Jennifer showed self-control!!!

The next night we went to our Seder meal at the Clement's home. As my friend, Sherri, was walking in, she said, "Hey, I thought you might like this to go on your flag pole." Oh yes, my friend, those are goose bumps on your arm. She handed me the "S" flag.

I was flabbergasted. I asked her, "Did I tell you I wanted one of these? Did we talk about this?" She said, "No, I just saw it and thought you might like it." Like it??? What???

You guys - God loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me! He speaks my love language. How can the God of the universe be so sweet? He made sure little ol' me had a $15.00 "S" flag. And it's not about the "S" flag, of course. It's about the fact that He took time out of His busy God schedule to bless me, to pay attention to me. It's too much.

Another neat thing is how Sherri allowed God to use her to bless me in a way she couldn't even fathom. She believed she was giving me a thoughtful gift, but it was way more. She was giving me a thoughtful gift from the God of the universe! Does that blow your mind? It should. "The Lord longs to be gracious to you...