Life With The Stanfords

Please don't stop the music...

The other night I was using Playlist to do some serious flashing back. I love Playlist because I can find just about any song I can think of and just play it on the spot. So I was listening to The Men All Pause by Klymaxx having a great old time.

Claire walked in, rolled her eyes and said, "Mom, you're so weird." Gasp! I did NOT know I was weird. I'm shocked and dismayed by this newfound information. (She didn't mention how sarcastic I am). She decided to take pictures of me having fun. I don't know if she was trying to discourage me or getting proof to give to the authorities when she emancipates herself. At any rate, here's the evidence, for better or worse...

"Don't you know the men all pause when I walk into the room...

 

The men all pause...

 

Slap me, no, somebody slap me ‘cause I know I'm lookin' good.

 

I'm givin' attitude all over the room. People are starin' at me (I wonder why)...

 

I just look too good for these people!

 

I think I'm gonna leave right now because I have some things to do.
Call my chauffeur. I love ya', I love ya' all, but I got to go."

 

My blog is handicapped...

I have no camera! Jade is holding it hostage at Treads and Care. If you're reading this and you live close by, hear this:  I will bake a Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Cake for anyone who can sneak in and rescue my camera (and don't forget the USB cable) from my husband.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will require you to get past several burly mechanics (a couple with tattoos and piercings), one really stressed out assistant manager, and lastly, my dreamy (thief!) husband. I'm pretty sure he's holding the camera in his office, which is right behind the sales counter.

I told him that I need my camera for my job, which is writing this blog. It doesn't matter that no one pays me to do this. I have decided that this is my job. Yes, I will own that. This is my job.

If I don't get my camera back, I shall have to resort to using stick drawings of my life to include here. Nobody wants that. And don't forget...

Have you ever...

OK, I'm copying from Liz and Sharon. Here is a fun list of things to do. To play along just copy the list and highlight the ones that you have done. Here is my list.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (yes, if a school band counts)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/ world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisioning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (I wish..)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (nope, still haven't been to Italy)
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David (once again, I've never been to Italy)
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted - does "drawn" count?
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person (thanks for reminding again, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ITALY!)
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving/ snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China ( I really need to get to Italy first)
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served in a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood/ platelets
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Been to the Vatican (um, hello.. I already said that I hadn't seen the Sistine Chapel, which is in the Vatican...BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN TO ITALY!!!!!)
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible (New Testament, yes...but not the whole Old Testament.. I always seem to fade out near the Prophets)
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (not but I watched a lamb get its throat slit while in Romania...cried my eyes out, swore myself to vegetarianism and then I started to smell it cooking..it was the best lamb I ever had)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (no, but my husband shook Ronald Reagan's hand, does that count?)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

What? No 100? That is awful. It's so...so...incomplete! Humans desire completion and resolution. Therefore, we must come up with a 100. Make up your own 100 if you decide to copy. Here's mine...

100. eaten brown sugar straight out of the bag for a snack

Dessert Test...

Here's something fun for the weekend. My mother-in-law sent me this email yesterday. You have to pick a dessert and then you will find out all sorts of wonderful things about yourself according to your answer. My mother-in-law is carrot cake, which fits her perfectly. I am chocolate cake with chocolate icing, naturally. What are you?

If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one)! Trust me..this is very accurate (Sure it is). Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.

Here are your choices:

1. Angel Food Cake

2. Brownies

3. Lemon Meringue Pie

4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing

5. Strawberry Shortcake

6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing

7. Ice Cream

8. Carrot Cake

No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be. OK, now that you've made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you...

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE-- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES -- Youare adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayerof dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE-- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves.

6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to  laugh.

7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control.  You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh.  You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.

Now, wasn't that fun?

The Crazy Gene...

There's a joke in the South that you don't ask whether you have crazy people in your family, you ask which side they're on. Guess which side the crazy's on in our family? Yeah, that's right. Not my husband's.

I was uploading pictures from the camera yesterday and came across these of my 11-year old, Claire. Should I have her tested for the crazy gene?

 

What do you think? Am I over-reacting?

 

She might also have inherited a slight mood swing problem. Because this picture:

 

was immediately followed by this picture:

 

My word. That girl cracks me up. Literally, I'm cracking up. What's she saying? "I don't know karate, but I know ca-razy and I'm not afraid to use it!" Or maybe, "Crazy is as crazy does." Or how about, "Craaazy, crazy for feeling this wa-ay!" Oh, I kill me. That doesn't make me crazy...does it?

A Story In Pictures...

My husband thinks I'm a real piece of work! He's right:

Sometimes I am hard to understand and not too easy to get along with. I leave the house in a mess and make our finances even messier. I've always been afraid Jade might run off with some celebrity, because after all, he's a superstar to me:

But then it occurred to me, "Where would he find a woman more elegant and chic as I?"

Jade would never leave, because he knows he's the apple of my eye. The End.

 

This story was brought to you by the people at Photofunia. Everybody has a story. What's your story?

Hurricane Preparation

So, what am I doing to prepare for Hurricane Gustav? Am I boarding windows, filling sandbags, tying things down? Nooooo! I'm yearbooking myself. Folks, De Nial ain't just a river in Egypt. Yeah, so anyway, here's some pics from yearbooks past, 1950:

1972?:

1980 something:

I always knew I should have been born in the 40's. If you are looking for a great way to kill some time and not be productive in any way, I recommend www.yearbookyourself.com It's good clean fun, ya'll.

Will blog again as soon as the electricity is back on.